When was the last time you spend time with your kids? If you ask me, I would say, this morning. I can hear my wife quip “Really”? Well guys, physically I was with my son, but I was too involved, browsing on my phone. My son came to me with 'created reasons' but I 'successfully' avoided him.
This morning, I was looking out for a topic for the blog. While structuring the blog, I realized the enormous mistake I was doing to my 5 year old son. I am wasting the golden moments of 'our life'. This is the age he is molding his character, his ambition, his style. In other words, he is becoming the unique individual he is meant to be.
Well, this is it. I am making a promise to myself and my son that I will try to spend more time with him than spending on electronic gadgets.
This is my plan to make my son to be successful in his life. I will prepare him for a world of assignments and deadlines.
How do I do that?
After school, all week days except on Thursday and Friday and on weekends, my son attends religious class. It starts at 4.30. He has almost 1hr to prepare himself for the Madrassa, which, thank God, he does it on time.
My wife and I agreed upon a schedule to finish his homework and we see to that it is implemented without fail. It’s a win-win situation. If he finishes his assigned work, we reward him with what he wishes for. Most of the time it’s a trivial thing, as an extra story at bedtime, but we stick to our promises.
Here we are trying out ideas. You might have yours. Try it out, as long as it gives the desired results. Slowly and systematically, we are transferring the responsibilities on to him. Knowing how to fit people into your schedule and manage their expectations based on your own plans is a crucial skill of adulthood.
Be authoritative, not authoritarian
At times, I feel like I am too authoritative. I know it’s not good. It has become my trait. I am working on it. Psychologists segregate parents into three categories: Permissive, Authoritarian, and Authoritative.
I was told Permissive & Authoritarian are no good. Permissive parents become their child's friend and fail to establish healthy boundaries. Authoritarian parents rule with an iron fist, which can fill kids with self-doubt and bruise their psyches. My dad was the mix of both and now my psychologist friend identified it as Authoritative.
My experience speaks, Authoritative parenthood is the best. They show love and affection but still enforce rules and set high expectations for their kids. Kids more often emerge with strong identities and high self-esteem.
Make them do their chores
A Harvard Grant study shows a child who did his chores on his own can grow into a successful individual. Involving the kids in household chores will help them to develop teamwork and cooperation. Also, it would help the kids bond more with the family and have good way of thinking when it comes to personal hygiene, general hygiene and being a responsible citizen.
Being Accountable and responsible
Part of giving your child extra space is affording them the room to fail — in ways both small and large. Imagine the situation you discover your child left his homework at home. You could rush the assignments to school, lest the child get a bad grade. Or you could use the opportunity to teach them the importance of responsibility, accountability and staying organized. Children should realize that their parents won't be always around to protect them.
Encourage kids to take risks
It’s always difficult to get out of the comfort zone. Every effort gives a positive result. Either you will succeed or you might fail. Is that a real failure? No! Indeed, it’s a lesson learned. Being able to fail more, broadly, is essentially what it means to take risks. Children should learn the art of systematic risk taking by the time they reach Adulthood. Otherwise, they may never fully appreciate how much they can get out of life by leaving their comfort zone.
Help your kids develop a sense of direction
Teach your children to remember your phone numbers and friends. Help your child to identify the road sighs and direction boards. Teach them traffic rules. Teach them to use sun and directions. In case, if they're outside their immediate neighborhood, they at least know how to use road signs and negotiate in traffic to get where the app on their phone says to go.
Teach them how to earn and manage money
It is always good to instill financial management skill in your child. Parents can practice their kids on earning money, manage them and utilize effectively. Pay them for the assistance they give you for the gardening job, for helping you to clean your car and so on. The will know the value of the money they earned. Take them to the bank. Show them how it operates.
Children are our assets and best investments. Take care of them. It’s not any school/university that makes them a good human being, it’s our home that designs a good human being.
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