What it makes you a mom? After conceiving for the first time, this is the thought came to me in the first front. I am sure it’s a lot more than giving birth.
Hello everyone, I am Tess Jacob and I am a software consultant. I am a workaholic and very particular in the clarity of everything I do. I tossed my query to my mom. She just smiled away. Mom, unlike me is very easy going and a person I envy to become.
Allen was born in last July amid monsoon chaos and five hours of intensive labor. I wanted to have a vaginal birth.My gyno too recommended that and it was a viginal birth. It was tiresome. Know what? All my pain vanished at the moment I held Allen in my hand for the first time. He was so cute . All my pain vanished in that moment. Again, the question popped up, “What makes me a mom? Did the pain I went through, make me mom??”
We had already subscribed to Life Maid Easy Service Incorporated’s Post Delivery Care package two months back. Three days after Allen was born, we moved to my parents home. Sandhya Chechi was there. She was the assigned Care giver from Life Maid Easy Services Incorporated. My postpartum care started from the next day onwards. It was so rejuvenating. I could feel my body was recovering every single day. I was always confused on how to handle Allen. More over I was very skeptical in doing anything related to him. I was never like this. It was like I was metmorphing to a different being. Possessiveness, selfishness, fear, insecurity….. I was having an array of emotions. Sandya Chechi was spending more time with Allen than me. She massaged and bathed him, exposed him to the gentle sunlight morning and evening, sang lullaby for him. Rest of the time he was with my mom. Slowly I took charge of him. Now two months after my delivery, I start realizing the meaning of my Mom’s smile to the question raised.
I realized, it’s loving and knowing a soul before you even see it. It’s carrying and caring for a life completely dependent on you for survival. It’s giving air to the lungs that grew within you and sight to the eyes that will never see you as anything but mommy. It’s sleepless nights, its nursing scratches and scrapes, it’s being stern and protective. It’s teaching them to talk, to walk and to eventually run. It’s learning to hand your child to a stranger to let them teach what you cannot at times. It’s bracing them for a fall, and dusting them off after they do. It’s seeing them cry and not knowing how to fix it, so you sit on the floor and hold them and cry right along beside them. It’s teaching them that they are smart, capable, funny and giving them the security to do great things. It’s building their self-esteem, supporting their dreams and loving them unconditionally. It’s letting them go, letting them fail and teaching them how to get back up. It’s going without so that they don’t have to, and being OK with it.
Being a mother is a gift that is unimaginable to any woman who does not have a child in their life. It’s a connection that is unmatched and insurmountable in any form or other relationship. It’s a love that grows continually, a love that always wants more and better. It’s being terrified that you can’t prevent pain, injustice, heartbreak and at times even death. It’s laughing at jokes that aren’t even funny, but the way they say it makes it’s hilarious. It’s listening to stories that go on and on without a point. It’s always being available for the “Mommy watch me!” yells and “Mommy I need you” pleas. It’s drowning out the word MOM repeated over and over in attempts to get your attention. Its songs sang out of tune and settling squabbles with siblings. It’s being mean and teaching hard lessons that hurt you inside so deep you want to cry, but you must stand strong with resolve. It’s being strong for them when you are weak. It’s smiling when you want to cry, and crying when you’re smiling with pride.
It’s looking through photographs and feeling your heart swell with love and happiness when you see the beauty, the happiness and life in your child’s smile and eyes. It’s confusion, mistakes, uncharted territory and blindfolded guessing. It’s trusting your gut. It’s snuggling on the couch watching a movie, braiding hair till your fingers hurt, it’s being woken up early on Saturday morning because they want to crawl in bed and be close to your heart. It’s having the worst day and having them hug you and tell you “Mommy I love you”, and needing nothing more.
It’s a blessing, a gift, a relationship that never ends and a love that never dies. It’s the best thing I have ever become, the greatest love I have ever felt and the best part about being me.
Thank you Mom and Sandhya Chechi for teaching me those valuable lessons without saying a single word on that. Thank you Allen, for remoulding your mother. Thank you Life Maid Easy Services Incorportaed for your excellent Service and Thank God for everything in my life.
Yes, I am a mother and I clearly know what it means to be a mother!